I miss you Sis

Today is your 21st birthday, supposedly.
I could have bought a dress for you or a bag perhaps.
I could have treated you to a dinner.
I could have shared with you my problems.

But you left me when you were still an angel.
I was nine then, a grade schooler. You were four.
I was washing your clothes at the communal "sagurong" (faucet) in our village when somebody broke the news.
It was the brother of my bestfriend Liezl.

Yes, i did not believe him; I told him that he was just kidding...
I left you at home with Mama and Papa in fine condition.
You were being treated by that other-village's albularyo (quack doctor).
Yes, you were ill but you were on the road to full recovery.

Who would have thought that on that day you will leave us.
The sunny day of June 10 that happened to be the birthday of our brother became a day of grief not of festivity.
You took with you our hearts, love and tears.
It was the very first time my heart was broken.

In my young mind, i envied your restful sleep in that pink coffin.
But you were crying, you dropped a tear in your face, I witnessed it.
I was afraid of dead people then but not of you.
I am your ate and so I love you and I was gravely saddened by your sudden goodbye.

Wherever you are now, I do hope that you feel our love.
Sorry that I was not able to visit you in your grave last November 1.
But in my heart, you are always alive.
You will always be my little sister Rouella =)